Heard this song a while ago... seemed very fitting with where I am, and where I've been.
"Little Miss down on love,
Little Miss I give up,
Little Miss I'll get tough, don't you worry 'bout me anymore
Little Miss checkered dress,
Little Miss one big mess,
Little Miss I'll take less when I always knew so much more
It's alright, it's alright, it's alright,
Yeah, sometimes ya gotta lose 'til ya win,
It's alright, it's alright, it's alright,
It'll be alright again, it'll be alright again
I'm okay, It'll be alright again, I'm okay (okay) It'll be alright again, I'm okay
Little Miss do your best,
Little Miss never rest,
Little Miss, be my guest, I'll make more anytime it runs out
Little Miss you'll go far,
Little Miss hide your scars,
Little Miss who you are is so much more than you like to talk about
It's alright, it's alright, it's alright,
Yeah, sometimes ya gotta lose 'til ya win,
It's alright, it's alright, it's alright,
It'll be alright again, it'll be alright again,
I'm okay, It'll be alright again, I'm okay (okay) It'll be alright again, I'm okay
Hold on, hold on, you are loved, are loved
Little Miss brand new start,
Little Miss do your part,
Little Miss big ole heart beats wide open, she's ready now for love
It's alright, it's alright, it's alright,
Yeah, sometimes ya gotta lose 'til ya win,
It's alright, it's alright, it's alright,
It'll be alright again, it'll be alright again
I'm okay, It'll be alright again, I'm okay (okay) It'll be alright again, I'm okay,
It'll be alright again"
-Sugarland
Monday, February 14, 2011
Sunday, February 13, 2011
Nashville... I love you!
I sat today and decided on my move date back to Nashville... and I as I sat there and talked the move through with someone else who may potentially be moving with me I realized that I about my home like most people talk about the true love of their life. Most people always grow wanting to get out of their home town, to move on and experience something bigger. I got that chance... and all I can think of is getting back. I want to see the world. I want to go to Ireland and drink beer and fly fish. I want to run with the bulls in Spain. I want to see Hell's kitchen and all of New York. I want to see the world. But I want to have a family in Nashville. I want to vacation all over the world. But there is something about Nashville, the familiarity with the streets, knowing where to go when you crave certain foods, the comfort into running into those you know, and knowing where to hide when you need.... it's what makes it home. It's knowing on a Sunday you can relax with those you love, and on Saturday you can see all your friends. My move to Houston has made me realize what an amazing place home is. And how my travels will hopefully take me all over the world throughout my life... but I hope that I am lucky and blessed enough to always return to Nashville... to family, friends and my favorite places to go.
Saturday, January 29, 2011
A little bit funny... even more frustrating....
So... last night at work... hmmmm... so many things I could complain about. I could start with the fact that I had only $100 in sales for the first 6 hours of my shift. I could go with the frustration of watching the waitress on the other side of building make ridiculous amounts of money while I had at least 4 $50+ tabs put a line or 0 in their tip line. I could also complain about my boss' annoying little comments about how slow my section was, or the fact that on top of not donating to their waitress' cause... all my customers clearly felt it necessary to powder their pools sticks over the pool tables I have to brush clean... EVERY TIME THEY WENT TO SHOOT!! But no, let's focus on the funny parts of last night. Now please note, when I say "funny" I mean this more in the sense of me making fun of these people in my head. I know that sounds rude, but for those of you who have not had the priveledge of coming into my work and seeing me you do not understand the wide range of classes, races and ranges of intelligence that walk through our doors on a daily basis. So the questions I get asked, and the things that are said to me never fail to amazing and shock me. Last night really pushed my buttons though, and left me disgruntled and irritated with people in general.
So first "funny" moment of the evening:
A gentleman, who up until this moment has been relatively polite and not annoying, orders a chicken tenders basket with french fries. Great wonderful... bring that right out to him. Twenty minutes later he informs that the menu states he should have received 4 chicken tenders and he only got 3.... REALLY?? You didn't notice this when I gave it to you? How do I know you didn't eat it!! You are relatively chubby and have had enough Dos XX to make me wonder if you are capable of counting to four. Ugh. So a few minutes later I am left escorting one lonely chicken tender down to his pool table...
Next moment of amusement...
** This next comment may include some bias based on the racial background of the group in question, as well as snap judgements on my part based on the groups dress, poor grammar and over all demeanor. I apologize in advance to anyone who is offended or thinks less of me after this**
A group of about 7 hispanics, men and women, come into the bar. In groups that look kind of "ghetto" such as this one did, we have come to realize it cuts down on time if we meet them at the door to ID them, since 90% of the time at least one of them is not of age, does not have ID on them, or is going to be upset that we do not offer "quarter tables" in our establishment. So I meet them half way to the bar and they inform me that they would like to get a pool table. I then ask to see everyone's ID. Now you know someone is about to have to leave when the first thing someone says is "Even if they aren't drinking?" (For those of you who may not know... it is against state law in Texas to be in a bar without an ID...even if you are clearly over 21.) I then state to this group that we are a 21 and up establishment, but regardless they must have an ID to be in the bar... and then he says it... The little guy with tattoos up his neck in front looks at me and says (while getting out an ID), "well I just got out of prison, but I have this" and then hands me a Offender card! REALLY!! I then politely say that I can't accept that as valid state issued ID, only for the large Mexican girl behind him who's clothes make her look like a sausage, to say to me "but the state issued that to him". After I tell them no again, I am met with several words of profanity and a few choice words issued at me by little Miss Piggy before they walk out talking like gansters. Clearly they don't really seem to care that a person with an offender license is in violation of their parole just by being in the building!
The last real notable funny moment of the night... also warrants the same warning from the previous.
Around 1am my bartenders put 8 African American males into my section. (On a side not, these are the type of people who seem to play in our pool chalk the most... thus creating the biggest mess right before we close. This in itself makes their presence in my section annoying before we even start adding anything else they do) Every time I walk passed this pool table I am greeted with comments such as "Hey Lil' Momma" and "Shorty" (pronounced "Shawty") with an accent that an only be described as ebonics with a side of rocks in their mouth. Or it could have been the gold grills getting in the way and causing speech issues... who knows, clearly just a small price to pay for "fashion". After trying to avoid this table as much as possible, they finally got obnoxious enough that I had to venture over to their table. Here is the conversation followed"
Me: "What can I get you guys"
Large Black guy: (pointing at a pitcher of beer) "One of 'dem"
Me: "what is it?" (Clearly meaning what type of beer is in it)
Large Black guy: "a pitcher"
Me: (In my head.."OBVIOUSLY") "what kind of beer would you like in it?"
Large Black guy: "Uhhhhhh...."
after waiting about 2 minutes... Me: "would you guys like a pitcher of Bud Light"
YEAH! That was my night... all of this was followed by hoping a guy walked his $180 dollar tab so that we could add a 20% tip to it... cleaning tequila off a table and making minimal money... but other then these funny things I have to share with other people, I got something else out of last night... I kick in the butt. I've known for a while now it was time to really buckle down and start looking for a better job and get myself around better people... But last night made me want to run in the direction of a better job and better people. And the only place I can think of that I can guarantee myself both of those things is in Nashville :)
Thanks for listening to me whine.
So first "funny" moment of the evening:
A gentleman, who up until this moment has been relatively polite and not annoying, orders a chicken tenders basket with french fries. Great wonderful... bring that right out to him. Twenty minutes later he informs that the menu states he should have received 4 chicken tenders and he only got 3.... REALLY?? You didn't notice this when I gave it to you? How do I know you didn't eat it!! You are relatively chubby and have had enough Dos XX to make me wonder if you are capable of counting to four. Ugh. So a few minutes later I am left escorting one lonely chicken tender down to his pool table...
Next moment of amusement...
** This next comment may include some bias based on the racial background of the group in question, as well as snap judgements on my part based on the groups dress, poor grammar and over all demeanor. I apologize in advance to anyone who is offended or thinks less of me after this**
A group of about 7 hispanics, men and women, come into the bar. In groups that look kind of "ghetto" such as this one did, we have come to realize it cuts down on time if we meet them at the door to ID them, since 90% of the time at least one of them is not of age, does not have ID on them, or is going to be upset that we do not offer "quarter tables" in our establishment. So I meet them half way to the bar and they inform me that they would like to get a pool table. I then ask to see everyone's ID. Now you know someone is about to have to leave when the first thing someone says is "Even if they aren't drinking?" (For those of you who may not know... it is against state law in Texas to be in a bar without an ID...even if you are clearly over 21.) I then state to this group that we are a 21 and up establishment, but regardless they must have an ID to be in the bar... and then he says it... The little guy with tattoos up his neck in front looks at me and says (while getting out an ID), "well I just got out of prison, but I have this" and then hands me a Offender card! REALLY!! I then politely say that I can't accept that as valid state issued ID, only for the large Mexican girl behind him who's clothes make her look like a sausage, to say to me "but the state issued that to him". After I tell them no again, I am met with several words of profanity and a few choice words issued at me by little Miss Piggy before they walk out talking like gansters. Clearly they don't really seem to care that a person with an offender license is in violation of their parole just by being in the building!
The last real notable funny moment of the night... also warrants the same warning from the previous.
Around 1am my bartenders put 8 African American males into my section. (On a side not, these are the type of people who seem to play in our pool chalk the most... thus creating the biggest mess right before we close. This in itself makes their presence in my section annoying before we even start adding anything else they do) Every time I walk passed this pool table I am greeted with comments such as "Hey Lil' Momma" and "Shorty" (pronounced "Shawty") with an accent that an only be described as ebonics with a side of rocks in their mouth. Or it could have been the gold grills getting in the way and causing speech issues... who knows, clearly just a small price to pay for "fashion". After trying to avoid this table as much as possible, they finally got obnoxious enough that I had to venture over to their table. Here is the conversation followed"
Me: "What can I get you guys"
Large Black guy: (pointing at a pitcher of beer) "One of 'dem"
Me: "what is it?" (Clearly meaning what type of beer is in it)
Large Black guy: "a pitcher"
Me: (In my head.."OBVIOUSLY") "what kind of beer would you like in it?"
Large Black guy: "Uhhhhhh...."
after waiting about 2 minutes... Me: "would you guys like a pitcher of Bud Light"
YEAH! That was my night... all of this was followed by hoping a guy walked his $180 dollar tab so that we could add a 20% tip to it... cleaning tequila off a table and making minimal money... but other then these funny things I have to share with other people, I got something else out of last night... I kick in the butt. I've known for a while now it was time to really buckle down and start looking for a better job and get myself around better people... But last night made me want to run in the direction of a better job and better people. And the only place I can think of that I can guarantee myself both of those things is in Nashville :)
Thanks for listening to me whine.
Monday, January 17, 2011
Let the Journey begin...
So it has come to my attention (as if I didn't already know) that I have spent the last year or two alienating those close to me. I wish I had a good excuse for this... or even better, a good reason. But I don't. All I know is that in the last year and a half my life, my thoughts about myself, my beliefs on big issues, and my perspective on life have all changed drastically. And the transition has been painful. And it's been even more painful to watch me try and Forest Gump my way through all of this. And my mentality has been that it would be easier to crawl into a hole and handle all of this on my own in hopes that after it all passed I would be able to emerge this strong beautiful butterfly and return to my life just as I had left it. Clearly that is not how things work. And along the way I have hurt my friends, strained my friendships, and cheated myself out of the chance to not go through all of this alone. But here I am.... slowly making my way to the other side, ready to pick up the pieces from all the mistakes I've made in the last few years and to move on with experience in one pocket and a plan in the other. I have a feeling I've lost some people along the way... whether it is their respect, their trust, or just their interest. But I am hoping that most of those I care about can look passed most of these mistakes I have made and can continue on this journey with me. The last few years have been hard... and I have a feeling the next few will not come without their fair share of difficulties as well. But I'm ready for it. Here we go.
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